needsmoreexplosions:

I love the phrase “they get along like a house on fire”. It’s perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it’s setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died

cordeliaflyte:

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

1percentcharge:

i know a lot of people mock when certain songs are overused on character playlists but I will never judge someone for putting bubblegum bitch on one. If you decided that your little tv guy is miss sugar pink liquor liquor lips who am I to say he’s not

nthfunct:

man who opened a parenthesis he forgot to close 4 years ago is tragically unaware everything he’s said since has been an aside